(pentax k1000, fuji neopan 400)
yesterday i dreamed of my mother, in her bedroom, resting. and there i lay myself beside her listening to her in sleep and this thought came over me, crushing my heart into a constellation of grief- "these are the sounds that used to comfort me". i rose then, knowing it was time for me to go, turned a fan on for her, and she stirred, turned toward me and asked: "are you going to leave the fan on?" and i replied i was, and took my leave of her, exiting through a side door into a long dark hallway that ended in its own light- a passageway into the world from which i came. it was then i noticed Ransom at my feet, looking up at me. he had been on that bed with her all along. i urged him to follow, to come with me, but he would not budge, his posture filled with love and compassion and his usual bulldog reserve as if to say- how i wish i could, but i belong on the other side of that door, there with your mom. you understand.
it was then that i woke from sleep.
sorrow dripping into my heart, through a pinhole...