Saturday, August 16, 2014

dream a little dream

ransom the boob at kar's me and my boy 2 me and my boy 

 Early this morning I was racked with guilt. You had gone missing, somehow- and were picked up by a city rescue team. They left a message, telling me if I did not come and claim you by 6pm, you would be put to sleep. I was frantic. Calling over and over, leaving messages begging them not to touch you, that you were mine and I needed you. You were sick, had cancer, and needed me. No one was picking up the phone to hear me ask for you and claim you. Some time later I was at work in a laboratory and my eyes were on the clock. 10 minutes and you would be gone forever and I couldn't find you. I called again, near hysterical, pleading through an answering machine- please bring my boy back to me. And then. My boss, the sounds of voices on the other side of the lab door, laughter, and words like 'Oh she will be so happy' and 'Thank you for bringing him here'. The door opening, and you you you you there (!)- there in front of me then next to me, me bending and kneeling to take you in, hold you. A reunion so sweet I couldn't catch my breath, shedding tears, relief flooding through me. "Buddy, buddy. Oh Buddy I love you I'm so sorry I lost you". You, always the one to forgive instantaneously, no thought of the past or your own fear being separated from me. Snuggling into me. Welcoming me. 

 God how I miss you Ransom. My heart breaks sometimes with missing you. Thank you for visiting me in my dream last night. It has been far too long since I last saw you.


  1. I love it when I see my loves in a dream. I just realized something I feel when I read your words. You love deeply, open, vulnerable, its brave. And, I admire your bravery.