Saturday, September 25, 2010

new ground: Sept 25, 2009

E, 2009

when i reflect on this day, it's easy to believe that you- brave girl- landed in this country and were the only one who changed. a new citizenship, a new language, new sounds, foods, & experiences. you were introduced to your first dog and one beloved cat, who you now invite to the beach and China and instruct me to "hug", even though he left this earth a week after you became a Chinese-American. you met strangers who would be your extended family- aunts, uncles, cousins. you made friends and were escorted to one doctor after another. poked, prodded, xrayed and MRI-ed. you relished in new freedoms- a jungle gym, a swing set, your first swim.

but the truth is we all landed here foreigners, together. a new family of three (or 5, counting those lovable animals). we each had a new language to learn. a new way of living. our relationship was neonatal, barely in its infancy. though we'd seen glimpses of who we would become, and glimpses of who you are (no words can capture all of you E), we were timid, and careful, moving in time that was somehow stilled, navigating moments instead of days.

you were the bravest of us, e. you who were thrust into our arms only to be taken to the skies for 15 hours 2 weeks after that meeting- finding yourself an immigrant amidst strange natives. i cannot imagine your fear. i only know i am deeply and forever humbled by your grace and valor.

none of us, not your dad, not me, not you, have been the same since coming to this new home. though the landscape was familiar (for your dad and I), the scenery had changed, taken on new color and depth. the routes in and the routes to and from each other and ourselves had been re-mapped.

what a blessing to be in this territory. what a blessing to be building these roads and passages along side each other, to each other, and in our own directions.

what an honor to share this new ground as a family.

18 comments:

  1. You just keep doing it, speaking heart words, the overflowing emotions we feel for our children and yet can so very rarely put into words. Heartspeak.

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  2. That is beautiful. E's beauty takes my breath away every time I see her picture. I'm so happy the three of you are together as a family.

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  3. You write so beautifully, from the heart.

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  4. "what an honor to share this new ground as a family."

    Indeed. And let's face it, you deserve it. You more than paid your dues with tears to be at this moment in time.

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  5. No other words but......truly lovely.

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  6. ~ poignant word symphony; beautiful medley of firsts. thanks for sharing.

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  7. beautiful post- I really needed to read this today...

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  8. Becoming a family is a holy, miraculous event. Child rearing is the same. Every day, the joy of unwrapping a piece of the personality, temperment, talents, quirks and bits of beauty that take your breath away, because, deep down, we know that we could not have played even a small role in creating another human being (bio or adopted), with all the intricacies and facets and perfection that is captured inside each little person.

    Drink it all in. It is heady, holy stuff.

    Thanks for letting me tag along.

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  9. Lump in my throat and chills as I read. YOu have such a way with words that cut right to the core of truth. We have such amazing and brave children.

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  10. I am in awe of your poetry, of the pure beauty of your daughter and of the deep and intense love of your family.

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  11. You are one lucky mom! It is something to have our worlds changes by these kids - amazing to witness their bravery.

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  12. The consumate poet. Beautiful.

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  13. And may the love of this family grow like the roots of a healthy tree, deeply rooted and nourishing to all...

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  14. She is as beautiful as your words. It makes me so happy to see families that support and respect and love one another as much as y'all do.

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